The Flight...ode to 91 days!

The drive to the hospital the morning of "that" phone call - all the concern for Greta's weakened state. It was not an easy one but God was faithful to carry me to do what I needed to do - to say goodbye to my very closest friend - ever!

Even though the medical people were telling us "the next two hours would tell us whether she would survive"...I already knew in my heart that this was IT - the last time I would see her. How do you begin to prepare to say goodbye to someone who you have known most of your life? She had told me twice in the week preceding this day...that "this time" she was "not coming out of the hospital". She was "going to get her healing". She knew she was headed to Heaven to "get her new body" and where she would be free from the horrible constant pain! God was working in my heart...to let her go...to release her to the Lord's keeping and to that greater realm beyond this pathetic place!

The sky was overcast and my heart felt the same...a shadowed feeling. But I recalled the words of comfort God gave me earlier that morning about developing a heart of worship in all circumstance. As I recall the lengthy drive to Heart of Lancaster Regional Medical Center - the whole morning had a spiritual element very hard for me to express in words. As I said, it was a cloudy day but my heart sensed the shadow of the Almighty's presence. The Lord blessed me with the comfort of the dearest people via my cell phone. The love and prayers extended to me were a tremendous blessing to my heavy heart. It was good to know that I was being lifted up in prayer as I made my journey to Lititz.

As God would ordain, my dear friend, Corliss, would be available to go with me. It was special to have her with me for that place in time. She's a strong woman of God, also the wife of a pastor, an accomplished pediatric nurse and dearly loved person. She had been touched by the loss of a sibling herself and after losing both her biological father and the dad who raised her within a short time - quite acquainted with grief. (At that point I knew she too "would be leaving me" within a short time; I had to push that pain away to deal with the moment. Maybe I will talk about that in another post someday.) Corliss was there for me and my family for that precious time as she had been for so many other life changes in the ten years we have been close friends. She prayed, comforted and loved on my bunch. It was a blessing to have her there and I thank God for providing that time together before her inevitable move to Alabama just a few weeks later!

God's sheltering arms were evident...as I walked in the room to see Greta like that...inti-bated and just barely holding on. I stood there quiet for a bit, rubbing her arm, touching her face, stroking her beautiful hair - we had shared so much. It seemed like a very bad dream- a nightmare! How do you say those words? I prayed out loud...thanking God for giving her to me as my little sister 38 years before. I recognized that he knew when she would be born and certainly knew when she would die. Her life days were ordained and known before the foundation of the earth! I thanked Him for the blessing of her life and what she was to all she knew. I sincerely praised His high and holy name right then and there. I hugged Greta and told her that "everything was going to be all right" with us. "I love you Greta - you go be with Jesus." and she did! It was a mere three minutes after I arrived that she "took off". I know she waited for me...before taking "the flight" - she had so many times before in her dealings with me! And even now I know she is waiting for me - again.

I love all my sisters so very dearly and deeply. I never ever imagined having to experience the death of any of the three! After all I have always been and will always be the oldest. I was five years older than Greta and several years the elder of Candace and April. The reality of losing my "lifetime partner in crime, laughter and mischief" is undoubtedly one of the more difficult and emotionally painful things I have had to do in my whole 44 years of life!

I SURE DO MISS HER! Three months to the day and date (Thursday the 12th)! Thirteen weeks of shedding tears everyday - at some point! Sure some days are more painful than others...so far "time"...91 days "has not healed squat"! I have many prized memories of her time here...everyday brings little remembrances...sometimes when I least expect it...a memory is triggered...it's a miracle I have not been electrocuted for crying while using my laptop (Greta would have laughed at that comment)! Nothing seems the same...nothing is the same...and I am convinced that my life IS forever changed! I can say with great confidence that I know her life has changed too and OH how for the better...that is the only good "trade off" here. But I love her that much!!! I know I am going to be all right...just like I told her...we are going to be all right - by God's help and comfort.